Find Me (A Shatter Me Fic)
by destroyedme
Summary: In which Warner and his daughter argue, making him realize he needs to do more to understand his only child.
1. Chapter 1

The first time Juliette looked into her daughter's eyes, she felt something strange. It was as if she was staring at a mirror, looking directly into her own eyes but still having that odd sense of unfamiliarity within the familiarity, however that was possible. Her bright, green eyes dazzled her from the moment she laid her eyes on the fragile human being (although she wasn't entirely a human being) resting against her chest. Her name was Jane Warner. And she had a gift.

Jane wasn't quite sure what was happening to her at first. She didn't understand why people gasped and stared in utter amazement every time her mother touched her. It all seemed so silly for young Jane. Was there a new law that banned mothers from carrying their own children? Were young girls considered dangerous? It wasn't until she reached the age of nine that she understood why. Her parents had kept the truth away for too long. Yes, she did know that there were people who had 'powers' or 'gifts' or whatever they were universally known as. But she didn't know that she had a gift, too. She had it all along.

"Mo-om," Jane sang, walking towards the front porch of their house. "Can I _please_ go out?" She clasped her hands over her mother's arm and shook her violently, abruptly waking her up.

Juliette yawned and ran the side of her hand along Jane's cheek, and then said, "It isn't safe to go out, Jane. Maybe in the morning."

As a response, Jane groaned and stormed back into the house. It had been more than twenty years since it all happened. One would think that the mayhem was finally gone and peace reigned throughout the world, but there would always be people who'd try to reestablish the world that was once reestablished by others. However, things were definitely better. The Reestablishment was turned into a void of nothingness and replaced by a new kind of government run by the man himself, Aaron Warner. As much as he hated to take the position of his ruthless father, he had no choice. He had a vision and he was determined to turn that vision into a reality.

And especially with his family, the most precious thing in his life, he vowed to turn society from the mess it had been for years into a place of freedom and equality. He didn't want his only child to experience the horrors Juliette had gone through. He didn't want her to live that part of the past. He just wanted her to be safe.

Now Warner was sitting in the living room, talking to a few officials about his plans for the future. He watched her daughter storm by him, her long, brown hair draped over her shoulders like a waterfall, and her fists clenched and clipped to her sides.

"Jane," Warner called, motioning with his hand for her to come over. "I'd like you to meet some of my friends."

She stopped in her tracks and turned her head to forcefully smile at him. "Hello," she said, and quickly added, "Goodbye" before she slammed shut the door to her bedroom.

Warner quickly apologized to his friends. "You know how fifteen-year olds are," he said with a hard laugh. His friends laughed along with him, and Warner made it seem like he easily dealt with this every day, but his eyes kept darting to Jane's door. He had to check on her.

He stood, but was pulled back down when a gentle hand brushed behind his neck. He looked up. Juliette. She smiled at him quickly and nodded at his friends. To Warner, she whispered, "She hates me."

"No one can hate you, love," he murmured, landing a quick peck on the back of her hand. Juliette smiled brightly at this. He'd never stopped calling her 'love'. The word had stuck to her. Every time she'd hear it spoken from his lips, she felt like she was falling in love with him all over again.

"You want to go check on her?" she asked.

He nodded. "Excuse me," he said to his friends, and then walked to Jane's room. He felt like he was walking into a battlefield. Trying to cheer up his own daughter now seemed worse than the war a few years ago. Those wars were better because he was certain he would find a way to win, but cheering up a fifteen-year old did not guarantee anything.

"What do you want?" Jane snapped as soon as Warner entered her cozy bedroom and quietly shut the door behind him. She was sitting on her queen-sized bed, hugging her legs to her chest, and resting her head on her knees. "I think I made it clear that I'm not in the mood to meet people."

"Jane," he sighed as he ran her fingers over the pile of journals on top of her drawer. It was something that she and her mother had in common. They'd both be scribbling away whatever was they felt. "What's wrong?"

Jane looked up and stared in horror. She abruptly jumped from her bed and swatted her father's hands away from her journals. "These are _private,_" she sneered. "You may have figured out Mom by reading her journal, but you can never figure out me!"

Warner felt like a dagger was pierced into his chest. He regretted that, but how else could he have fallen in love with her? "I'm not going to read those," he replied gently. "I just want to _understand_ you, Jane. Tell me what's on your mind."

"And what, you're going to walk away and forget everything I've told you?" she said with a scoff. She dismissively waved her hand in the air and added, "Like you'd even care."

"But I do," he wanted to say. He did care. He cared about her as much as he cared for Juliette.

Something kept pulling him away from finally saying that he did. Maybe it was just because he wasn't quite sure how he should say it. Or maybe he was too ashamed of admitting that he did. He groaned and plopped himself down at the foot of her bed. He then rubbed his forehead in frustration and kept his eyes closed. He was doing a terrible job of being a father. He should stay home. He should talk to his daughter. He should spend more time with her…and Juliette. His work was serious and he _was_ acting serious with his job, but he didn't appear to be serious about his family.

"Jane," he murmured. "I don't know what's going on in your head."

"Not my fault your gift is suckish," she replied, rolling her eyes skyward.

"I want to understand you," Warner said. "And I'm so, so sorry if I haven't been here for you. I want to be a better father. I want you to feel that."

"Is it because you're afraid you're turning out like your father?" she sharply said. "Because yeah, maybe you are."

"Jane -."

She held her hand out to stop him. "If you just wanted a life with Mom, you should've thought about that first before you two had sex and brought me into this hellhole."

"Jane, you know that's not -."

"Every time you come home, you're all 'Juliette, love'!" she exclaimed. "What about _me_, Dad? What do I get? I can't even get out of this house!"

"It's dangerous outside," Warner tried to explain.

"It's your job not to make it dangerous," she pointed out.

"It's my job to care about you," he groaned, clenching his fists.

"And you're not doing it very well." With that, she climbed outside the window and ran.

Warner shouted for her to stop, but once he looked out the window, Jane was already sitting inside the front seat of a pickup truck, now accelerating as it drove away. In anger, he pounded his fist on the wall, making the picture frames rattle and fall from their hooks. He shouted at the ceiling until Juliette came rushing inside. She took him in her arms and cradled his head on her lap as they both sat on their lost daughter's bed. She cooed him and told him it was going to be fine, even though deep inside she knew she was lying. Even Juliette, the girl who once felt the same way as her daughter, did not know how to find her daughter.

Juliette found herself her way. Jane had to do the same.


	2. Chapter 2

"We shouldn't be here," said Jane. Her protest fell on deaf ears again. She'd been pleading her friends to take her back home, to take her anywhere except _here_. They were nearing the barbwire fence, which separated the known from the unknown. Her father had told her never to cross. Beyond it was a place filled with people who still doubted the new system. Beyond it was a civilization left on its own, uncared, and never to be let inside unless they accepted the truth. They had no name, they had no real reason for their decisions, and they had nothing. But that didn't mean they meant no harm.

"Relax," a voice crept from behind her. Jane spun around and saw Luke holding a box of matches. He dropped onto Jane's palm and added, "This is the only place we won't be seen." He winked, brushed his brown hair away from his face, and smiled. Jane had to look away and make a curtain out of her hair to stop him from seeing her blush.

"We won't be seen if we get killed," said Jane, wrapping her arms around her. The sound of the silent night made her ears ring. The night was chilly and the noises beyond the fence turned the night she'd normally find beautiful into a terrifying thing.

Luke sighed and pointed to the pile of wood sitting on his feet. "When was the last time someone got killed because of _them_?" he asked, nodding toward the darkness that waited across the fence. "Besides, it's probably -."

He was cut off and thrown back when Alicia, the group's so-called leader, threw a stone at the fence. In seconds, the fence lit up and turned the stone into tiny, crumbled pieces. The quietness of the night instantly turned into an earsplitting noise.

"It is," said Alicia. "Now stop being so whiney." Her eyes dropped to the pile of wood. She then sighed, gave Jane a look of disappointment, and walked away.

Jane never understood why Alicia granted her permission to join their group. They were all skilled, independent, and actually prepared for anything. Jane stuck out like a sore thumb; she never learned how to do all those things. She was hiding behind the curtain her father had graciously created for her. Jane was unlike her friends who had to learn how to survive.

Maybe Alicia let her in just because her father Adam told her to.

Adam was always nice to Jane even if she _was _the daughter of his previous love and even if she carried the same genes of the same man he once despised. She'd seen him around but she never got to really know him. Sometimes she'd catch herself wishing her mother had chosen him instead. Adam seemed like a better father. Adam had time for his family. Unlike someone.

"Hey," snapped Luke, but instantly softened his tone. "The fire."

"Oh, right," stammered Jane, fumbling to open the box. She failed miserably when the matches fell to the ground. There was no way she'd find all of them in the darkness.

Much to her surprise, Luke laughed. "Let me do it," he insisted, striking the match against a stone. He did it so easily. The pile of wood now crackled and glowed with its bright fire licking the wind.

"Sorry," muttered Jane.

"You don't have to apologize for not being yourself today," replied Luke, smiling sympathetically at her. "I can tell something's up."

She sighed and sat on the ground. "I just – I don't know, Luke. I've been waiting for something to happen – you know, to my dad – but he's not getting it. He says he wants to understand me, but when I open up, bam! He forgets what I said and he forgets about _me._"

Luke sat next to her and pulled his knees to his chest. "Well."

"Well, what?" she demanded.

"Well," he said again. "I don't know what to say."

"Isn't this when you tell me I should talk to him and sort things out once and for all?" she asked, bumping her knee with his. He looked up and smiled lightly. "Because that won't work, Luke. It never works. He's too busy to try to make it work."

Luke's mouth twitched upward. "Do you see that fence, Jane?" he asked, pointing at it. Jane nodded and raised her eyebrows at him. When she opened her mouth to say something, Luke raised his hand and held it in front of her face. "Your dad placed that fence. He did it to protect us – to protect _you_. Maybe you're seeing it as something that's stopping you from doing what you want, but maybe you're looking it at the wrong way."

As a response, she rolled her eyes. "But I'm safe inside the fence!"

"Are you?" He raised an eyebrow and extended his arms to his sides. "Jane, if this is what you call safe, then I think you have a pretty messed up idea of what's really going on." He pulled something out from his jeans – a gun. "There's a reason why we bring this around."

"But I don't need a gun," she protested. "I have -."

"You have a _gift,_" he finished. "I know that. You can counter an attack, big deal."

She was a bit offended. "I just wish he cared."

"Your wish _has_ been granted, Jane," reminded Luke. "It's been granted since the day you were born."

She had no reply to that. Deep inside, she knew it was true.

Their other friends were coming up the hill now, carrying bags of food and blankets. Instantly, Jane felt like she'd been shrunk ten times. They all looked so menacing to her. She'd been in the group for more than a month now, but most of the time she'd spent it with Luke. She knew their names: Josephine, Kipp, and Beans, but aside from their personalities, that was the only thing she was sure she knew about them.

"Hellooooo," Beans' voice erupted. He waved his hands frantically in the air. Luke waved back at him and Jane managed a small wave, which was more like an unnoticeable movement of the fingers. Beans had a real name that no one knew about. His hair was curly and his body was chunky, and he had a smile that could light up an entire town. He was also the nicest one to Jane, but that didn't really matter – he was nice to everyone.

Behind him was Josephine, the toughest girl Jane knew. She insisted her name was wrong and that she should have been called something fiercer. She had a gift, too, but kept it a secret from everyone. Her hair was in tight braids that night, violently slapping against her cheeks as the wind blew her direction. She was a beautiful girl with a wicked heart.

Finally, there was Kipp. He was quiet, but when he said something, it was meaningful. He was a wise guy. He'd laugh to himself which made people wonder if he was crazy. He found joy in being alone, and Jane found that interesting about him.

"What took you guys so long?" demanded Alicia, stomping her foot down. "You know we can't stay here too long. The patrols will run by here at three in the morning."

"Well, _sorry,_" sneered Josephine. "I didn't know the princess was waiting."

Alicia rolled her eyes. "Just set up."

"Make me," challenged Josephine. She dropped the bags of food she was holding and clenched her fists. "You didn't have to bring so much stuff, unlike _us._"

"I'm sorry, but who found this spot in the first place?" replied Alicia, stepping closer. "If I hadn't snuck in and checked the files, we wouldn't even have this place all to ourselves."

"Well -!"

"Okay!" Beans clapped his hands together. "Now that we're all here, why don't we start roasting our –," he stopped to grab a bag of food, "marshmallows!"

Josephine scoffed. "That's so childish."

"But it's delicious," added Luke, reaching for the bag. He stabbed one with a stick and, smiling, handed it to Jane.

"It's a burnt piece of…sugar," said Josephine, rolling her eyes. She grabbed one from the bag and threw it into the fire. "I can't see how that's delicious."

"Just – oh, just deal with it, Josephine!" snapped Alicia, brushing past her and holding her marshmallow to the fire. "If you didn't want to come here, then you should've stayed home."

Josephine opened her mouth to answer, but before she could utter any sound, any word, something exploded from up ahead. It was earsplitting and shattering. Alicia hushed the group and ran forward to see what it was, and when she turned her head, her face clearly showed horror.

"Rebels," she gasped. "They're burning down the trees. They're burning down houses."

"We need to go," muttered Josephine as she started to run down the hill, "Now!"

In an instant, the group rushed to gather their things. They had to cover up their traces. No one had to know they were there. It was illegal to be there in the first place. Kipp and Beans bolted down the hill, carrying as much as they could, and then jumped into the van with Josephine driving. Alicia cursed loudly when she remembered that her pickup truck had to be warmed up before it could run. She commanded Luke to run to the truck and get it ready, and so he did without saying another word.

Jane's heart was beating extremely fast. What was going on? What rebels? What could she do? She'd never been in a situation like this. All those quiet nights were harmless and lonely, but this one was extremely far from that. If she'd get kidnapped, who knows what they'd demand for? Her vision began to cloud and her knees trembled. Alicia snapped something at her, but she couldn't make out what it was. She was feeling dizzy. The loud noises around her were only muffled sounds in her head.

Finally, Alicia pulled her and began to run. They ran down the hill, their feet being propelled by clouds. They were halfway down the hill when something exploded, making them both fall on their backs and momentarily lose their sense of hearing.

Jane struggled to get up on her elbows. She couldn't see anything ahead except for fire and smoke. The rebels were getting closer. They would soon kill her. Beside her, Alicia lay limp as a rag. Jane reached out to shake her, but when she did, her arm felt like it was being pinched by needles and pounded by hammers. She withdrew her arm and clutched it to her chest.

And then she ran. She ran away from the fires and blasts and into the thick trees. She couldn't see anything in front of her but darkness. It smelled of moss and dirt and trash and everything in between. Desperately, she held her hand in front of her to guide her. She hand crunched when it hit the trunks of trees and she had to bite her lower lip to stop herself from screaming.

Suddenly, something grabbed her wrist. She pulled away but couldn't. She thrashed and screamed and kicked and yelled for help, but a hand clasped on her mouth before she could do anything else.

And then there was light.

In front of her was a man, holding a flashlight above her face, looking at her with concern. Her thoughts were too clouded. It took her a moment to realize it was him. It was Adam.

She had to fight to urge to throw her arms around him and cry.

"Jane?" he said like he couldn't believe it. "What are you -?"

"I believe that question would be more suitable if it was addressed to you, Kent," a voice loomed from behind.

Jane turned her head. A feeling of relief rushed in her heart. He was here. He actually came here. He was looking for her. He actually _cared_. She wanted to bury her face in his chest and hug him and let him take her home, to where her mother was. But that feeling was quickly replaced with fear. He'd found out where she was. He knew what Jane was doing with her friends. He was raising a daughter who went against the law.

Jane could feel his disappointment.

"Stay away from them, Jane," said Warner, grabbing his daughter by the elbow. "Stay away from him."

"But -."

Jane's eyes followed Adam as he disappeared into the darkness. What did her father mean by 'stay away from him'? Adam was a good guy. Adam was there for her. He was much, much better than her own father. What could possibly be dangerous about him?

Jane allowed him to take her home. She was dragged into a van, and she hoped her father would sit with her and talk. She wanted him to say something, anything. But he had to stay. He had to take control. He had to do his job. He had to abandon his daughter.

Looking out the window, she watched her father's silhouette grow smaller and smaller as they accelerated on the road. He had his back to her and he was instructing several armed men to attack. It was the only image of Warner to Jane - strong and deadly. She envied the children who had images of their fathers embracing them, loving them, being with them. But she was Jane Warner, and things were different.

She was wrong. He didn't care. He wasn't looking for her. He was just doing his job.

It was the only thing he knew how to do.


End file.
